im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
dude. I can hear the air.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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