Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
