to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
