careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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