I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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