Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
