Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
