i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
