whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
