is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
