My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
