Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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