My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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