just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
