it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
well you can't waste a boner
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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