is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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