brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
