you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You left your phone here
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