I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
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I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
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He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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