i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
