If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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