she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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