i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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