ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
