Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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