Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
