yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
