Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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