so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
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The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize