I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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