Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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