I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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