I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
