ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
