I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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