what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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