I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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