I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
