I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
