I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
