Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
