Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Dicks are not precious.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize