Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
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being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
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mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.