the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I have demons in me.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background