how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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