I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
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I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
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A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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