Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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