check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You made out with two different species that night
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
