I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
