You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
