i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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