P.S. I can't hear my feet
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
