my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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