I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
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Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
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And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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