Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
