Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I wannas sexs uuuuu
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
